Every writer hits walls. Sometimes it’s the dreaded middle. Sometimes it’s a scene you thought would be easy. And sometimes, life just gets in the way of everything you planned to accomplish.

That was me in November.

I had a bunch of things going on that I won’t bore you with, but the short version is: I was stressed. I had made it to the halfway mark of my current WIP, and got stuck. For those of you who know about the structure of a romance novel, the halfway mark is usually a spicy scene. That holds true here. It was supposed to be a fun scene to write and yet, I just couldn’t.

The stats tell the story: In November, I wrote on a total of 5 days. I added 3,172 words in total to three different projects.

For a writer trying to meet an editor deadline, those numbers were terrifying.

Why Writers Get Stuck (And Why It’s Worse Under Stress)

Here’s what I’ve learned about creative blocks: they rarely happen in isolation. When life gets overwhelming, our brains shift into survival mode. The creative, playful part of our mind—the part that knows how to write a fun, sexy scene between characters we love—gets drowned out by the noise of everything else demanding our attention.

Writing intimate scenes comes with its own unique challenges. These scenes require vulnerability, playfulness, and emotional presence. When you’re stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, accessing those feelings becomes nearly impossible. You can’t write characters falling into each other when you feel like you’re barely holding yourself together.

I’ve tried forcing myself to write something I’m not ready for inthe past and when I read those parts back, I can tell I didn’t want to write it. Here’s a hard truth: how you feel writing a book is how your reader is going to feel reading it. So if you’re excited, they’re excited. But the reverse is true as well.

What I Did Instead

So I set it aside.

I thought about what I wanted to do for that scene and the rest of the book, but I didn’t write it. I worked on another project that’s in the editing phase and left Mace and Raine on Raine’s doorstep, just about to go inside and do the deed.

I gave myself permission to step back. Not forever. Just for now.

The Breakthrough

Then, last week, I decided to try again. But this time, I did something different. I wouldn’t put pressure on myself and kept my goal super low at only 10 words per day. Not 1,000. Not even 100. Just 10.

This is the strategy I used to form my writing routine six years ago. It worked back then. I hoped it would work again.

I needed to figure out if I would still be able to meet my deadline with my editor next month or if I would have to ask her for an extension. But more than that, I needed to reconnect with my story without the weight of expectation crushing me.

The first day, I wrote 57 words. I got them inside her house.

The next day, I wrote 120 words. I got them to her bedroom door.

Then I sat down on Saturday morning and decided it would be a writing day. I was feeling good. I had a bunch of things caught up or ahead of schedule. The words were starting to flow again.

I wrote 5,220 words that day.

What Actually Worked (And Why)

Looking back, I can see exactly why this approach broke through my block:

Lowering the bar made it possible to start. Ten words per day is laughably achievable. There’s no pressure in ten words. You can write ten words in two minutes. But here’s the secret: once you start, momentum often takes over. Those 57 words on day one weren’t because I forced myself past the 10-word goal. They came naturally because I’d removed the pressure.

Stepping away gave my subconscious time to work. While I wasn’t actively writing the scene, my brain was still processing it. I thought about what I wanted. I visualized moments. I let the characters live in my head without demanding they perform on the page. When I came back, the scene was clearer because I’d given it space to develop.

Working on other projects maintained momentum. I didn’t stop writing entirely. I edited my fantasy project. I stayed connected to my creative self, just in a different way. This kept me moving things forward while also reducing the pressure on the stuck project.

Celebrating small wins built confidence. Those 57 words? I celebrated them. Those 120 words the next day? Also worth celebrating. Every small step forward reminded me that I could still do this, that I was still a writer, even when things were hard.

Knowing I could ask for an extension. I’ve worked with my editor before. I’ve asked for extensions before. So I know I can ask for more time if I need it. Writers, like editors, are human and sometimes we need more time. As long as a writer communicates with their editor, they can usually work something out. Knowing this took more pressure off, allowing me room to find my creativity.

Practical Strategies: How to Know When to Step Back

So how do you know when it’s time to take a break versus when you need to push through?

Ask yourself: Is this resistance coming from fear, or is it coming from depletion? Fear-based resistance often needs you to push through gently. Depletion-based resistance needs rest.

If you’re experiencing:

• Physical stress symptoms when you think about writing
• Complete creative emptiness (not just “I don’t know what happens next” but “I feel nothing for this story”)
• Resentment toward your project
• Life circumstances that genuinely require your attention

…it’s probably time to step back.

When You Do Step Back

• Set a micro-goal (like my 10 words/day) to maintain connection
• Work on other creative projects if possible
• Give yourself a timeframe (I’ll revisit this next week, after this deadline, etc.)
• Trust that stepping away isn’t the same as quitting
• Consider getting an outside perspective

Outside Perspectives

Sometimes you just need someone to ask the right questions: Why is your character resisting this choice? What’s the real conflict in this scene? What happens if you skip this part entirely?

If you have a writer friend to talk over plot points, that’s perfect. But you can also hire a book coach to help you through sticky sections. Or, a brainstorming session can help you work through plot tangles, figure out character motivations, or identify structural issues that are keeping you stuck. It’s not about someone telling you what to write—it’s about having a conversation that helps you find your own answers.

To learn more about my brainstorming and book coaching services, check out my Services page.

“But I Have a Deadline!”

I know what you’re thinking. I had a deadline too. An editor waiting for my manuscript. And you know what? Stepping back helped me meet it, not miss it.

Because here’s the truth: you’ll miss your deadline anyway if you spend weeks staring at a blank page, feeling terrible about yourself, and producing nothing. But if you step back, rest, and return when you’re ready? You might surprise yourself with what you can do.

That 5,220-word day wasn’t a miracle. It was the result of giving myself permission to struggle, permission to rest, and permission to return on my own terms.

The Bigger Picture

This experience reminded me of something crucial about sustainable writing careers: they’re built on self-compassion, not self-punishment.

You’re not a machine. You’re a human being who creates art from your own emotional reserves. Sometimes those reserves run low. Sometimes life demands more from you than you have to give. And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for yourself—and for your writing—is to step back and breathe.

So give yourself grace. Especially at this time of year, when the world seems to demand everything from everyone.

Your story will still be there when you’re ready. Your characters will wait. And when you return, you might find that the break was exactly what you needed to tell their story the way it deserves to be told.

I’m celebrating my breakthrough, and I hope you’ll celebrate yours too—whatever that looks like. Whether it’s 57 words or 5,220, forward is forward.

And that’s always worth celebrating.